i noticed something that was said on another thread, and it's off the topic of the particular thread, so i'm giving it a spot of its own.i think that's the source of a lot of our problems when it comes to race ignorance of others' feelings as well as pent-up hurt feelings that need to get out.. .
those are very intelligent words, and i believe they go beyond the issue of race.
they can probably be applied to every disagreement between any two people anywhere on the planet.
This topic reminds me of one particular A.A. meeting where someone was sharing a problem; just expressing their inner turmoil, etc., when they were told by a long timer "get off the pity pot." Ya know it was behavior like that which helped me make a clean break after five years.
And of course if someone chose a different avenue for recovery, not embracing the 12-Steps of A.A., there was a lot of judgement such as, "well, they just aren't ready yet to get sober."
Granny
my understanding is that this board can serve as a place to come so that jw's and ex-jw's can get together to discuss mostly, jw issues as well as matters such as our likes and dislikes of a non-religious nature.
since there are so many posters here, could you please express what you think this place is for?
Until two years ago I really did not know about these type forums. And for reasons already touched upon, I didn't stick around one particular forum to long because the whole topics (or so it seemed at the time) was about who did who in bed, seriously. I cannot recall really any conversation about "recovery" so I just left. Of course being politically incorrect by nature, that didn't help.
Since that time though I've learned about internet sensitivities; which I still have at times. I'm not looking to get jumped on for expressing an opinion that I know will be taken by the posting majority as an opening to belittle and shame someone because they disagree.
SO, I keep coming back to any forum because I've learned much. Peodiphile, UN, families torn apart by shunning, total hyprocisy of that filthy religion, the list goes on and on. And yes, on occasion to rant and rave, too.
Just like in "real life" there are those you develop a like towards...and those you don't. Overall I think this forum is a good place to come and share. And as already mentioned, find some humor with some not so humorous circumstances. Or, too remember life doesn't have to be so damn serious all the time.
good topic.
granny
i left the borg after a 5 year struggle at home.
the best way for me to leave was to move across the country from east to west, (still wasn't far enough), i was unemployed at the time and had no real opportunities, so my girlfriend at the time (not a jo-ho)(who my family never met) and i headed out west.
now, i returned home about 3 years later when my dad past away, and at the funeral, people were coming up to me asking me how the west was and how was my new congregation, can you believe this.
One thing I'll always believe about the JW's...they cannot tolerate truth.
"Be true to thine self."
"You arent' going to please all of the people all of the time."
"Don't let the bastards get you down."
"F*** em!"
granny, of the "I don't care what my JW family thinks, class.
i have been out of touch with pretty much all of the old jw's that i used to hang around with while in new mexico.
i have been informed that one of those jw's that oddly enough happens to be related to my roommate that i am currently living with is coming to town and i have also been told that he is trying to leave the org and doesnt want to be any part of it anymore but he still has a lot of family in the religion...another twist anyone?
oh yeah he also is "coming out" he is gay.
I was taught that recovery is about sharing our experience, strength and hope. And as already mentioned, allowing the other person to talk. Gawd knows we need to purge a lot of garbage to someone who isn't sitting in judgement of us.
Years ago I remember how at an AA retreat this gal came from out of state in hopes of finding someone she could purge her past with. Sad, but true, often times we cannot do this necessary step in our own communties because people do/will gossip.
So while you may be experiencing some hesitation yourself, perhaps this man has unnamed fears too. Trust is a two-way street. Be that good listener and try not to project into the situation undue negativity, as in the "what if" syndrome.
I, too, was quite cautious when it came time to share those deep dark secrets of my past. But when I found someone I thought could be trusted and began talking, time seemed to literally stand still. I'll be eternally grateful for that woman who listened to me as I purged the old demons. And those words will never pass my lips again...until it's time to share with someone else who is suffering as I suffered.
People come into our lives for reasons that may not always be clear from the on-set. And you don't have to "like" the person, but understand they are reaching out for help. And remain true to your own boundaries...and you'll instintively know.
just my thoughts.
granny
i remembered something that was in my consiousness from back in the day.
i went to the door of a very nice home and was greeted by a nice person.
i presented the usual rehearsed salespitch and she said the oddest thing, "i tried jehovah's witness once, it just didn't work for me.
Like in the movie, "What about Bob?" where he is taking those Baby Steps to recovery. Funny movie.
I remember AA would talk about "fake it till you make it" and then one day I realized it wasn't pretending. I'd overcome so much negative thinking. I'd actually become the person I wanted to be rather than remain mentally chained to an idealogy that didn't belong to me.
Never give up on learning no matter where life take you. And what works today might not work tomorrow because we continue to evolve and change. Recovery is a process. Sometimes it seems slow in coming, but if we are persistant the rewards are too numerous to list.
I stopped looking for the burning bush, so to speak, and realized that often times it's those seemingly insignificant situations that mount up to something so blessed and wonderful.
I'm glad no one ever told me recovery would be easy. Yet on the flip side, it does get easier. Takes practice and patience.
Wishing you well,
granny
i owe my life to a woman named alle, who is my best friend in the whole wide world.
when i was 14, the wife of one of the elders in my congregation decided she should study with me (i was 15 when i baptized) and this woman used to warn me about a sister in a neighboring congregation who was demonized (despite being a regular pioneer), telling me to stay away from her.
the sister in the neighboring cong was alle.
Enjoy your visit. While many people will cross paths with us, some will always hold a special spot in our hearts.
granny
this is what my son looks like.
some people here might remember me, i have not posted in about seven months or so, on this site.
i thought i would share my sons photo with everyone.. .
Good hearing from you. Hey, your son's birthday is the same as my son, only twenty-seven years difference. He is adorable, but all kids are.
Although I'm weaning myself slowly from these forums, hope you stay around for awhile.
Take Care,
Granny Linda
today we went out to lunch with my mom.
she invited some friends of hers without telling us.
we thought it was going to be just her and her husband and my brother and his wife.
Public prayer. It can prove interesting.
I'm glad you saw immediately to ask for separate checks. When it comes to prayer...hum. I think the parents have a responsiblity to the children first.
My husband and I volunteer at a local food bank where their day begins with a prayer. Being a non-Christian I've learned over the years that these people pray as if everyone is in agreement with their god. And it just ain't so. While I listen, I also remember to inject my personal thoughts and don't worry about to whom they are directing prayer.
Now it might prove interesting the day this circle of volunteer should ask me to lead them in prayer.
Hard ass as I can sometimes come across, I really don't care what situation I'm in when it comes to prayer. I do not reconize their god, period. So it's all just a social formality anyhow. Guess age slows my reaction down because years ago I would have stepped aside; not having anything to do with their belief in one fashion or another. And if I think it's necessary today to step aside I will. And not feel obligated to explain myself either. Ah, progress for this old gal.
Besides, when the children need tending, they need tending. I don't think any god/goddes is going to heep a bunch of crap on our heads for taking care of an immediate responsiblity. If those in attendance have a problem with that, so be it. You don't answer to man today, remember.
Granny L.
i'm not feeling too good about myself today.
no particular reason.
just feeling down in that i'm-a-bad-person-and-i'm-going-to-burn-in-hell-when-i-die way.
Ya know I've been sitting here trying to remember what I do when I'm having a down day...JEeezzzzz
Guess I pretty much stay to myself. Which is easy for me since it's just hubby and I. Usually time takes care of whatever is ailing me at the moment. I also remember that this too shall pass. I know, might not be what you want to hear, but some days are just what they are. There are also times I don't try and figure anything out...being on the more neurotic side, it just makes matters worse. Then of course there are those times when I must get honest with myself over something and I procrastinate; and that doesn't help either.
Sorry to cut this off so short, but hubby just came in from being out of town for a week.
Love,
granny
i have five classes in one of them the instructor said "attendance is not mandatory, if you feel that you can pass the tests without coming to class then so be it" well, i've had a shit load of crap going on so i didn't go to class she wrote me and told me that she felt that was disrespectful.
i have made all high b's on the tests and i think i got an a on my paper.
i just don't get it.
Sheila, that was funny. Yeah, guess it's not "respectful" being smarter, and kinder since she's the one who attempted using "shame on you."
Hey, this makes me think of a time I was at my volunteer work; standing on boxes, whatever, trying to clean out the funky storage shed. Now mind you I've known this retired school teacher (3rd grade) for years. Anyhow, as I'm teetering I use the "shit" word. This old lady comes literally shaking her finger in my face! And proceeded to tell me, "take that back." And I'm thinking what the %@*&. I told her I wasn't going to take back what I said.
Later that morning one of the other volunteers told me that when she walked back into the office, all those old ladies were praying for me.....OMG...that's absolutely too funny.
People. What ya gonna do, eh. Chin up.
Granny
Granny
